


Light My Way

by lovegood27



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Complete, Depression, Friendship, Gen, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Domestic Violence, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Marauders' Era, One Shot, Wizarding Wars (Harry Potter)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-19
Updated: 2019-01-19
Packaged: 2019-10-12 19:41:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,187
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17473784
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lovegood27/pseuds/lovegood27
Summary: When going through dark times, sometimes all you need is someone there with you to help find the way out.





	Light My Way

_Please...I said I’m sorry! I didn’t mean it, I didn’t mean anything!_

 

It’s raining today. Marlene is standing outside on the balcony of her apartment, looking up to the clouded grey skies as a torrential downpour of raindrops fall. She has already been standing there for fifteen minutes. There is a tranquility in listening to the steady pitter-pattering of the rain hitting pavement. It is peaceful outside and there is no one to bother her in this moment.   
  
She pushes back her soaked sheet of blonde hair and looks down at her arms, inspecting them again, perhaps hoping that what she sees will be different from what she saw five minutes ago. Her cold fingers glide over the crimson welts marking where her biceps are, trace the purple blossoms adorning her shoulders and forearms and she winces slightly. Then they reach her wrist, which are still covered in several day-old cuts sticking out painfully obviously on her pale skin, and she feels a pang. It is a funny mix of guilt and shame; she recalls the image of a familiar face looking at her, mocha eyes full of concern, worry, and shock.   
  
_Dorcas, it was only one time._

  
Not that her friend believed her. Dorcas took Marlene to a specialised Healer in St Mungo’s, promising to look after her until she was better. She was true to her word, checking in as frequently as possible to bring food, antidepressant tablets and antiseptic creams, and to keep Marlene company. She arranged therapy sessions for her twice a week, updated her on news of the Order and sometimes cleaned the apartment for her too.   
  
She still visits whenever she can, but what with her increasing shifts at St Mungo’s and all the extra Order meetings in response to more Death Eater attacks, she just doesn’t have as much time on her hands. Plus, she has to make sure to come when Marlene’s boyfriend isn’t there, either at work or drinking himself stupid at The Leaky Cauldron.   
  
The fact that Dorcas is making all this effort to look after her makes her feel guilty, although Marlene can’t say she doesn’t enjoy her visits or savour her presence.  
  
 _And it’s not as if her time is being wasted, because I’m getting better_ , she reminds herself. _A lot better than before._ The thought is a comforting one that motivates her to push on when she doesn’t have any other source of inspiration or is feeling particularly down.  
  
These days, there is less of that awful feeling that she is drowning, helpless, and she’s not on the constant verge of a tearful breakdown like before, when she lived in fear of her partner coming home.   
  
This was before Dorcas found out about everything.  
  
Progress was slow, infuriatingly so, so that at times she felt like nothing was helping her, and she would sink back into her cocooning sea of suicidal thoughts and hopelessness. There were seemingly never ending days where Marlene did nothing but sit on the floor wallowing in self pity and misery, thinking about how meaningless her life was.   
  
_Empty. A shell. And it would be so easy to just end it all. Right here right now._

  
And yet she never did- so really, the fact that she’s still alive is owing to Dorcas. Dorcas was her light when she was huddled in a dark corner of her own mind.  
  
She heads back inside to get a towel.   
  
***  
  
 _Will you just leave it? What have I even done to you? I just said not today, that’s all._

  
Marlene’s just finished showering. She’s using her wand to clear away some leftover dishes, hair up in a towel turban- it feels wonderful being able to motivate herself to do something again, even for something trivial. She’s about to start tidying the couch she’s recently taken to sleeping on when she hears the click of someone unlocking the front door.   
  
She pauses, tensing. It’s not him, it can’t be, it’s too early. He shouldn’t be back for another three hours, at least.   
  
The door opens and Dorcas walks in, looking a little windswept and flushed but smiling, eyes lighting up when she sees her friend. Marlene notices an absence of the usual load of carrier bags she brings when she comes to see her. It’s alright, though, seeing as Dorcas has already been investing lots of her own time taking care of her for so long, and it’s about time she started doing some things herself.   
  
Like regularly leaving the house to buy groceries. Going to Gringotts to get money from her vault (not that there’s much in it). Finding another job somewhere now that she’s been dismissed so she’s not dependant on her partner. Things like that.   
  
She’s trying to gradually recover from her depression, with Dorcas’ help, the future prospect of finally being able to leave shining ahead like the light at the end of a dark tunnel.   
  
_You don’t even have a job anymore- I earn all the money! You’re the one who has to rely on me, so count this as your favour in return._

  
“Hey.” Marlene gives Dorcas a smile, genuine albeit small. “I didn’t expect to see you today.”   
  
“I know, I just felt like visiting for a little bit; I wanted to see you.” She kicks her black heels off and hangs her coat up. “Sorry I didn’t bring you anything, though. Are you doing okay?”  
  
“Yeah, thanks. A lot better than last time you visited.” Which is true and in no way a black or white lie.   
  
Almost inevitable, her thoughts wander to last week, and Marlene’s eyes flick towards the new scars on her wrist for a bare second. Quick as a flash, she grabs a hoodie she wore two weeks ago that’s lying on the couch and pulls it on to cover up her slip, praying Dorcas won’t find anything unusual about it.   
  
“Cold.”  
  
“Oh, no...you haven’t been...did you-?” She’s already striding across the room. Marlene tugs down the sleeves of her hoodie to cover her hands and sits on them.   
  
“Let me see,” Dorcas says. Marlene shakes her head, avoiding her piercing gaze. She feels a bit like a guilty child who has been caught sneaking biscuits from the tin red handed, although she knows that’s ridiculous. She can’t help having those low spells that give her sudden, compulsory urges.   
  
“You said you were feeling better.” Underneath the slightly accusing tone runs an undercurrent of concern.   
  
“I am. This was from last week. I haven’t done anything since, promise.”  
  
Dorcas sighs after a moment’s pause, and sits down on the couch next to Marlene, twisting her a little fingers before speaking.   
  
“This was- actually part of the reason I came today, to be honest. You’ve been stuck here for so long and I was thinking...just- don’t you think it’s...about time you leave?”  
  
“Leaving? Leaving what?”  
  
“Your boyfriend. This apartment...like, starting over with your life.” Dorcas drops her gaze and looks outside at the balcony instead.   
  
“A new life?” Marlene gives her a blank looks. They’d discussed it before once or twice, and she’s often thought about it- but not _practically_. More like a fantastical dream. 

 

It’s silly to think she could just leave her partner right now, so soon- the notion in itself is just ridiculous.   
  
He would never let her leave; he enjoys having her around too much. He’d track her down. Stalk her. Beat her.   
  
And she has had enough bruises for a lifetime.   
  
“Look. There’s nothing stopping you from just packing up your things and running away,” Dorcas continues. “You’d be safe from him. Think of all the possibilities...you could give yourself the care you need. Find a job, another boyfriend, get out more...you’re not doing your mental health any favours by staying. You hate living with him, so why put up with it? Just leave.”  
  
“I can’t- I wouldn’t be safe.”  
  
“But, say-“  
  
“He’d find me somehow. He’d _kill_  me.”  
  
They both sit in silence for a second, absorbing the harsh impact of those words. Marlene can feel that she’s right- he absolutely would. In a fit of rage from having abandoned him, out of hate, spite, and his ever prevailing ability to take pure delight in the pain and suffering of others. She gets a cold feeling in her stomach just thinking about it, and she fights the impulse to shiver.   
  
Dorcas reaches over to pull her hand out from under her legs, and laces her fingers with hers.  
  
“We’ll find a way to deal with him...maybe I could talk to the Order,” she says, staring ahead of her. “They could set up somewhere safe for you, where he wouldn’t be able to find you. I’m sure if you put an Unplottable Charm on a member’s house, or the Fidelius Charm- and you could just stay with them temporarily.”  
  
The idea is definitely tempting; there’s no denying Marlene would love nothing more than to be finally free from her prison of depression. She just doesn’t like the thought of staying with someone she hasn’t talked to for months and suddenly imposing her presence on them.   
  
“It’s inconvenient for whoever I’m staying with,” she says. “All I’d do would be to stay at home-“  
  
“Not if you rejoined the Order,” Dorcas interrupts. “It’s an idea, isn’t it? We’re short on members anyway; some were killed after the Ministry’s corruption. The Prewett brothers- they were attacked by Death Eaters a few days ago.”  
  
Marlene never knew them too well, having only met them once or twice. But they had been kind, welcoming towards her when she first joined, and skilled duellists. She knew that. They were brave fighters, their deaths would have been a huge loss to everyone who had known them. She grieves for them too, silently.   
  
She should rejoin, it would be the right thing to do. Help the resistance fight against You-Know-Who and his supporters in this war. She could be useful.   
  
“Give me a couple of days, okay? I’ll think about it.”  
  
***  
  
 _I already said_ no _, for God’s sake! Get off me!_

 

  
Dorcas waits outside the front door, grinning widely as Marlene emerges from the bedroom with a charmed handbag containing most of her clothes and possessions. She takes a deep breath, looking around at the apartment she was trapped in for three years one last time.   
  
She’s leaving. She’s going to be _free_. It’s an exhilarating thought, and she feels an excitement bubbling up inside her that makes her feel giddy.   
  
“This is amazing. You’re finally moving away! A fresh start, away from your boyfriend...can you believe it?”  
  
Marlene smiles, steps out of the door and shuts it behind her.   
  
There. She’s done it. She’s escaped, and she’s never coming back.   
  
She has reached the light at the end of her tunnel.   
  
“God, I actually...” she gives a shaky laugh, and clutches her handbag to herself. “All that time I spent holed up...with him.”  
  
No more dawns spent pinned on the bed and vulnerable. No more enduring drunken screaming late at night. No more silver buckled belts. No more bruises. No more scars.   
  
“I hope you’re absolutely one hundred percent sure I’m going to be safe from him, though.“  
  
“Oh, yes, I’ve already asked Dumbledore and he’s given the as many means of protection that he can, including the Fidelius charm, and its ages away from your old apartment,” Dorcas reassures her. “Let’s get going then- you can Side-Apparate with me.”  
  
Marlene’s about to protest that she’s perfectly capable of Apparating herself even if she’s out of practise, and that Dorcas hasn’t even _told_  her whose house she’ll be staying at. Her friend grabs her arm and turns on the spot before she can say anything, and then she’s spinning through absolute darkness, every part of her feeling tightly compressed.   
  
They reach their destination, and her voice catches in her throat as she opens her eyes.   
  
“Well?” Dorcas is looking enormously delighted. “You don’t mind do you? I mean, it’s so exci- Marls, no, don’t cry!”  
  
They are in the outskirts of London, standing right outside the door to Dorcas’ little house.   
  
“I- don’t worry,” Marlene chokes out. “I’m just...happy, that’s all. This is- the best day I’ve had in a long time and God, Dorcas you...you didn’t have to, you know.”  
  
“I know,” she replies. “I wanted to. You’d prefer living with me, right?” She slides a comforting arm around Marlene, whose eyes are still brimming and is hiccoughing slightly.   
  
“You’re...absolutely- amazing, you know, thank you so much.” Of all people she would have had to move in with, Dorcas was the one she would have chosen without hesitation.   
  
“Don’t be silly, you’re my best friend, of course I’d let you move in with me,” Dorcas says with a smile. “You can stay as long as you want.”  
  
She fumbles around for her wand and wordlessly unlocks the front door, one arm still slung around Marlene.   
  
“Come in, then, you’ll get a headache sobbing like that out in the cold.”

 


End file.
